It’s not like anything explicitly terrible is happening directly to me but … 

it is.

… 

it is …

I mean …

It’s the vibes, 

Really,

The vibes are off

And I feel sick.

You’re sick, you make me sick (I’m sorry)

We’re sick, we’re all so sick (I’m sorry)

Well …

That night we ate corn dogs and pop tarts 

I said I need to fart 

So we hopped in the bath and laughed ‘cause it’s a jacuzzi I farted excuse me 

Is that the typa shit you wanna hear?

That I farted? And  then I rode his dick? 

Oh gosh, you ARE sick!!!… 

Well …

I already told him the tongue bitin’s the hardest 

(hardest part of a spiral’s when we’re not screaming 

WEEEEE!)

but I just don’t know no more no 

more buttons to press but PANIC now I’m

manic in the back of the line at the pharmacy on Washington Ave.

That was back in New York near Central Park:

I said get out my way motherfucker I need to fart!

The hardest part in pretendin’s pretendin the bitin’ ain’t

bad or 

sad, not 

sad, but sorry, I said 

Sir, SIR, 

THAT’S A CRIME … 

(and how I did that all the time …) (?!) … 

Biting and biting and biting and biting … 

And how I did THAT all the time?! … 

Well,

at least nobody knew he was out of his mind

(hit the hardest part of a spiral

and I find myself outside of mine)

(I think it’s my time) 

(fuck!)

That was back in New York upstate by the chicken coop:

I said get out my way motherfucker I need to poop!

Well …

Hurricane came 

But I Can’t Cum 

Easysome coming so close so

Come Queasy he said 

And

A good god gave me Man’s sugar 

Sugar pop syrup sure he  

Cane 

Cane

can squeeze 

Me

Quease-maker 

Be my liquor 

(Cabinet) (It went really well)

Sleazy yet wet well 

WentWell 

Wet Well 

Wet Went Well 

Wet 

Wet 

Well Went Well Went … (It did not go well) 

Ants in my brain and who’s next and queen

ant’s in my brain center left (the last cathedral) 

And underneath my bed and in my head I’m 

out in the fields spread eagle like a lizard, 

center left with a really wet tongue,

on the tip of it, and on the back of it, and off the back of it, 

guess the queen ant did lay eggs there snail 

trail of little white

larva, like lizards, and then winter.

Well then THAT damn near winter damn well knocked me back a few years. 

(on the floor of the kitchen in a puddle of tears)

and do you think the neighbors heard me balling 

or wailing, 

or rotting, and if so, 

do you think they’d even want to know? (...)

I gotta admit:

The tongue cutting scene was hard to watch 

But it did make me think of you for a little bit 

(Oh Gosh, I AM so sick!)

Crack under the back door to the crack den where I met him.

I said I crawl through (Baby crawl through)

I found you (Baby found you)

Man that wasn’t love those were hate tears

Drank like eight beers in the crack den back rooms 

Big black couch with no back to the crack room 

We do shrooms

‘Till the fog clears and that eighth beer got him eight

Years

TIME.

Is it really 8 am already? 

I don’t remember me no more and I don’t think I’m gunna keep tryin’ …

But then you say best not be dyin’-nnnnnn

But how you said best not be dyin’-nnnnnn

And how my tongue stood still when you lost your mind.

And yours too

completely still 

when I lost mine.